Meeting Kim Part 3 (And Other Things)

Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, she told me that I make her feel uncomfortable. BOOM (massive bomb).

So we don't talk for the rest of the night and then into the next day, and then...

"So I hope you're not mad at me, I was just being honest."

It's one of those things that you tell another person when you DON'T plan on ever talking to them again. Alas, she contacted me again.

I didn't respond for A WHILE.

"Ignoring me now?"

"Lol yeah"

Kinda hoping soften things up with an LOL. Didn't do shit, though.

"Why?"

I imagine the stereotypical fat girl that you meet on a date that won't leave you alone even when you say "no more of you".

"Strange to hear you say that after you tell me you don't feel comfortable around me. Actually, it's strange to hear from you at all after you said that."

"But I told you why."

"How does that matter?"

"I dunno. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

"It's not a matter of hurting my feelings so much as it's about why you're still talking to me after you made it clear I make you feel uncomfortable."

"I dunno, 'cause you're on my phone?"

As if the fact that she's contacting me again didn't have "dumb bitch" written all over it, this takes the cake AND the fucking table the cake was on.

I would send her another text a couple days later...

"Creep is my specialty. ;-)-"

I know... shut up.

"-I'm not done if you're not done."

...to no avail. Better to get rejection from a fatty than a hotty.

Conclusion of the Kim experience.

Deleting from phone..................................... now.

Love and Ciao,

Trevor.

Meeting Kim Part 2: BOOM BOOM

Last night was a mix of both extreme amounts of good and extreme amounts of bad, ultimately ending very badly.

She looks thin in her picture. Was she thin? Hell no. I saw her standing outside of her car and my first thought was "......god damnit." Not that she was fat to an unbelievable extent, but she was undoubtedly overweight. Big sunglasses on (mark of a bitch) and a purple dress that showed a very unnatural cleavage. Her looks would get better WHILE she was sitting down, and if I would have been drunk, there'd of been no hold-backs.

I gave her a friendly hug to set the tone (as suggested by Chet, one of the dating gurus I have high respect for). She was clearly into it. We immediately got into the car and drove to Jon's Coney. Closed. We drove to Biggby Coffee. BARELY open with ten or fifteen minutes left. During the ride, we were flirting, talking, and having a good time.

We sat down and at first the conversation skipped the runway. She was NOT very open in the beginning, but it wasn't hard to get into a real conversation. I simply talked about music, which I knew based on her profile we both had in common. I mentioned that I play the piano and have been playing it for years. She says she HATES the piano and the sound it makes.

"It's too perfect of a sound. There's no percussion in the sound it makes. No faults."

I agree with the later half, but couldn't forgive hating the piano.

"I love to explore and find new places. I love adventure."

I'd say.

"I don't care about seeing to places because I don't have the money or the interest."

She'd say in response. "The only place I really want to go to is Spain." I shuttered.

She kept rolling her eyes and making this clicking sound with her tongue that drove me nuts. It reminded me of Janet's "Yan Poofy Boat" on a much much smaller scale.

She said she didn't care what other people thought of her, and I could tell it was genuine. I admired that. If I could do that, I wouldn't have to go through whole DAYS of reflecting on something.

We were WELL past Biggby's closing time, so we walked to Tim Hortons not too far away. 24/7. We were in luck. We talked and talked and talked. Had a deep, healthy conversation that I hadn't felt in a while. She kept flirting with me, lightly slapping me, stepping on my feet and keeping it there, she wanted to arm wrestle and I kicked her ass. It was while she was correcting me for my use of the word "pronunciation" that I found myself looking into her eyes and hearing her soft, soothing voice and thinking "Wow... it drowns out the fatness." and "Damn, she's being really physical. Her tits don't look so ugly up close." lol nope, I was completely compromising while hearing her talk sweetly. She looked like a new anchor with a bit of acne.

Something about her I found so attractive, it shined through the slight ugliness and fatness. She seemed almost unobtainable. Cracking the assumption that fat people, especially women, are insecure and desperate. Nope, not her. She had a care-free "I don't give a fuck" attitude while giving me the kind of gripping conversation I hardly ever felt with Janet. I was hooked.

"I love having someone to hold and cuddle with."

Let it be known right here, right now that I'm not into BBW. However, what I was getting from this girl was a sexual attraction brought on by a personality trait. I've seen few men (if any) actually accomplish this, but to see a woman do it to me was unprecedented.

One thing to point out was how quick I was to completely open up and be honest about things I probably shouldn't have been honest about because they sounded chodey and loser-like. One example I can come up with was when she mentioned this OTHER guy she recently met online, he wouldn't stop talking about her eyes. Then I go and mention how her eyes are "soft" and her voice is "soothing". CHODE. MASSIVE CHODE, TREVOR. Not only was it something I KNEW a chode said to her, I said it KNOWING the chode said it to her. I did my best to keep the cocky/funny in play, and I thought I did very well.

She then mentioned how my profile makes she sound conceited and asshole-like. I can understand why and will be changing it accordingly.

""Knight in shining armor"?... Please."

The way she said it made it sound stupid.

""I am that guy"?... Come on."

Like solving a puzzle that you couldn't solve as if you could never figure out anything to begin with.

All I could do was admit the fault. I had no playful defense I could say in response. No comeback, nothing cocky, nothing funny. She was right when I could of sworn I wasn't wrong.

We left at around midnight. I pushed her and she pushed me, back and forth, back and forth. If nothing else, I had found a pretty good friend with possible benefits. You say "ew" because she's a little chubby, but she's got an okay face with only slightly saggy tits. Sexual attraction is not in the looks with her, but it comes twice as hard through personality.

I have her drop me off at the end of the court in case something happened and she decided to burn my house down. Lol stupid. I know. I go inside and have a little text exchange with her that drops an unexpecting bomb.

"Verdict?"

"Not too bad. I think I'll be seeing more of you."

I know, a little chodey looking back at it.

"Haha maybe."

"Lol or not. Like I said... whatever."

"Haha the world may never know."

"The world? Come on."

":)"

"Well, you DID send me a message that said "you're cute"-"

*screeching sound* Okay, I forgot a part.

While we were drinking whatever and eating whatever, she sends me this RANDOM text message that said "You're cute." Which gave me ammunition for cocky/funny. She kept checking her phone for the time and so I sent her a message that said "Stop it."

"-I guess you're not sick of me just yet."

Enter the bomb.

"You're just a little too hard to be comfortable around."

BOOM.

"Seriously? How?"

"You never seemed relaxed and you were overanalyzing everything."

BOOM BOOM.

It's been going through my head all night and all morning. I can't figure it out. We were having a great time, she kept flirting with me non-stop, she kept talking to me about whatever, and then out of left-field she says "You're just a little too hard to be comfortable around." I keep trying to come up with some excuse for it like maybe she's just 19 and dumb, or fat and secretly insecure, or being playful and it didn't translate on text.

This morning I got a text.

"So I hope you're not mad at me. I was just being honest."

Love and Ciao,

Trevor.

Meeting Kim

I'm quickly forming a thing where I set up coffee hangouts with women I meet online.

I talked with Kim for two hours. She suggested coffee after hour one passed by. I mentioned working for a car and she said she'd pick me up.

Look, I've got a fear that eventually, as I do this meet and greet thing with women, all I'm gonna get are the uglies and the psychos. Not to say she's either of those, but SOMETHING is gonna be off about her. I know it.

Her profile says:

"I have strong faith in christianity."

When someone goes out the their way to SAY they're a Christian, they've got a deep devotion. I made sure to mention my Atheism and how respectful I am of others.

"Don't worry, I'm respectful too."

To counter-balance the religion...

"I'm really into music, its a huge part of my life. I listen to absolutely every genre (and i actually mean that: rock, country, rap, opera, jazz, techno, classical, everything) I play the viola, acoustic guitar, and I sing. I am driven by music and that is the career path I'm taking in life."

and

"I'm a pretty outgoing person, not very shy at all. I'm always the one to strike up a conversation first. I don't really have boundaries in public, I enjoy going crazy."

and

"When in a relationship, I tend to be very affectionate and some people might say clingy. I just like to show my affection physically and I can't do that if we don't hang out. I love a night out, but I also love a night in. Cuddling is always, always a plus."

and

"I cannot stand stupid people, and by stupid, I mean someone who cannot have an intelligent conversation.
I hate people who are strung up so tight they can't get down on the ground and have a tickle fight once in a while."

and

"I'm home from school for the summer, just working sometimes, so my schedule is pretty flexible."

It's worth it to at least MEET the girl.

She's got a couple pictures on the site of her from yesterday. She looks attractive enough in those. The only one that doesn't sit well is one where she's smiling and her face is "round". Hey, I'm not calling the kettle black or anything here, I'm just saying. I'm a little worried that I'll meet her and she's kinda fat and sorta ugly.

Coffee at night. Awesome. Coffee house that's open on a Sunday night? Haha good luck.

Love and Ciao,

Trevor.

Janet

So while I'm getting text messages from Emily (girl from plentyoffish.com) that say, and I quote, "I think you should come cuddle with me", I've been a little busy talking with Janet (another girl from pentoffish.com).

"WhaTS GooOD ShaWTY LooKIN SeXxY iN Youzr PiCTurES DroPEd U a BIg SPlasH.....uh....hahaha?

if you're not doing anything later this evening, and you have enough courage...ha. you should come out with me to an open mic. it could be fun. it's in down town mount clemens...pretty close to where you live. i could get you if you needed me to, which you probably would.

if you're too nervous, it's okay, you don't have to go. i'm not going to force you. no pressure.

janet."

I said yes and met her after dusk by the Hungry Howies. It was bitter cold.

She drives a black car with white, circular bumper stickers and, I would only later find out, one-use camera photos on the ceiling. She's short with baby fat still on her face. "Cute". Brunette with blonde streaks and pastel yarn across holding back her hair. "Artistic". And I was sitting in her car laughing and having a great time. Like friends. Yes, "Friends". Not "Potential Boyfriend" or even "Mr. Potential", just "Friends". And I'd care about that problem if it was a problem for me because, I happen to feel the same way about her. No matter how hard I try, I have no attraction for her in that way... and I can't figure out why. She's as good at guitar as I am at piano, vocals as well... she likes bands that I know and enjoy (Laura Viers, The Decemberists, The Books)... I just can't seem to get this attraction for her. And once I realized that, I had to make a decision. Either try and sleep with her (which I wouldn't have enjoyed regardless), or stay friends forever.

After the open mic, an introduction to her friends that I could have sworn I'd gone to school with, and her little performance, we headed back and talked and laughed non-stop... like friends. I had this high-pitched voice I couldn't seem to shake no matter what I said, and she wasn't giving off any of those "signals". Sure, I attempted to "flirt", but it was evident that neither of us felt anything.

It's a shame really... could've sworn that I'd be madly in love with someone that loved music like I do... I surprise myself all the time. I guess that's one reason why life is so much fun.

The next day, there was no communication. Maybe this'll die out like Brittany before this one.

And while all this is happening, I'm at least guaranteed a "Hey handsome, let's cuddle" from "Emily" once or twice pretty much every day.

It's Working

I've pissed some off...

"lol ohhhh

ur one of those guys that try to be all funny and witty to make up for their lack of self confidence and insecurities. hence why you are single now and probably will always remain that way.

good luck with everything. "

...and I've blown some away...

"you are an incredible musician, why don't you have a million girls surrounding you? i mean you're nice, and talented, great personality, and attractive. what happened? why aren't you dating someone?!"

...so no matter what, I'm being fulfilled with knowledge and, ultimately, happiness.

This way, I'm becoming more and more comfortable talking to women, planning the next thing to stay with an abundance of time. That's awesome.

I've also closed a couple times... well, actually, THEY close. I don't have to do anything, I just come off as that kind of guy. They give me their numbers. WOMEN GIVE ME THEIR NUMBERS. I never thought I'd see that day.

I think the thing is, I'm an amazing guy that a lot of women are looking for, I just don't convey that too well in person. Working on it.

-------------------------

There comes a point when you're online talking to women, that you realize you can say whatever the hell you want to get a positive response (outside of "there's a parrot on your head").

I also realized recently that who you are online doesn't translate well with who you turn out to be in real life.

Love and Ciao,

Trevor.

"It's Not Me"

So I had been flirting with a girl online. Turns out, when I asked her why she only had one picture up on her profile, she said in response:

"because it's not me.

it's zooey deschanel. *love her*"

First assumption is that she's ugly. And I thought that that picture looked familiar...

I'll let you all know if she gives me an actual picture.

Love and Ciao,

Awesome.

Plenty Of Fish: Profile Comment

Something I laugh at every time about my profile regarding what I'd do on "the first date"...

"I would sit you down and have a personal and intimate conversation with your soul..."

lol. Don't ask me why, 'cause I have no idea. It sounded romantic. The full version being...

"I would sit you down and have a personal and intimate conversation with your soul over tea or coffee, give you a piggy-back ride and run around because the world is ours, hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes until we feel this unbreakable bonds at which point we'd kiss the most passionate kiss you've ever exchanged with a man.

...but I'm not out to date."

Love and Ciao,

Trevor.