Last night was a mix of both extreme amounts of good and extreme amounts of bad, ultimately ending very badly.
She looks thin in her picture. Was she thin? Hell no. I saw her standing outside of her car and my first thought was "......god damnit." Not that she was fat to an unbelievable extent, but she was undoubtedly overweight. Big sunglasses on (mark of a bitch) and a purple dress that showed a very unnatural cleavage. Her looks would get better WHILE she was sitting down, and if I would have been drunk, there'd of been no hold-backs.
I gave her a friendly hug to set the tone (as suggested by Chet, one of the dating gurus I have high respect for). She was clearly into it. We immediately got into the car and drove to Jon's Coney. Closed. We drove to Biggby Coffee. BARELY open with ten or fifteen minutes left. During the ride, we were flirting, talking, and having a good time.
We sat down and at first the conversation skipped the runway. She was NOT very open in the beginning, but it wasn't hard to get into a real conversation. I simply talked about music, which I knew based on her profile we both had in common. I mentioned that I play the piano and have been playing it for years. She says she HATES the piano and the sound it makes.
"It's too perfect of a sound. There's no percussion in the sound it makes. No faults."
I agree with the later half, but couldn't forgive hating the piano.
"I love to explore and find new places. I love adventure."
I'd say.
"I don't care about seeing to places because I don't have the money or the interest."
She'd say in response. "The only place I really want to go to is Spain." I shuttered.
She kept rolling her eyes and making this clicking sound with her tongue that drove me nuts. It reminded me of Janet's "Yan Poofy Boat" on a much much smaller scale.
She said she didn't care what other people thought of her, and I could tell it was genuine. I admired that. If I could do that, I wouldn't have to go through whole DAYS of reflecting on something.
We were WELL past Biggby's closing time, so we walked to Tim Hortons not too far away. 24/7. We were in luck. We talked and talked and talked. Had a deep, healthy conversation that I hadn't felt in a while. She kept flirting with me, lightly slapping me, stepping on my feet and keeping it there, she wanted to arm wrestle and I kicked her ass. It was while she was correcting me for my use of the word "pronunciation" that I found myself looking into her eyes and hearing her soft, soothing voice and thinking "Wow... it drowns out the fatness." and "Damn, she's being really physical. Her tits don't look so ugly up close." lol nope, I was completely compromising while hearing her talk sweetly. She looked like a new anchor with a bit of acne.
Something about her I found so attractive, it shined through the slight ugliness and fatness. She seemed almost unobtainable. Cracking the assumption that fat people, especially women, are insecure and desperate. Nope, not her. She had a care-free "I don't give a fuck" attitude while giving me the kind of gripping conversation I hardly ever felt with Janet. I was hooked.
"I love having someone to hold and cuddle with."
Let it be known right here, right now that I'm not into BBW. However, what I was getting from this girl was a sexual attraction brought on by a personality trait. I've seen few men (if any) actually accomplish this, but to see a woman do it to me was unprecedented.
One thing to point out was how quick I was to completely open up and be honest about things I probably shouldn't have been honest about because they sounded chodey and loser-like. One example I can come up with was when she mentioned this OTHER guy she recently met online, he wouldn't stop talking about her eyes. Then I go and mention how her eyes are "soft" and her voice is "soothing". CHODE. MASSIVE CHODE, TREVOR. Not only was it something I KNEW a chode said to her, I said it KNOWING the chode said it to her. I did my best to keep the cocky/funny in play, and I thought I did very well.
She then mentioned how my profile makes she sound conceited and asshole-like. I can understand why and will be changing it accordingly.
""Knight in shining armor"?... Please."
The way she said it made it sound stupid.
""I am that guy"?... Come on."
Like solving a puzzle that you couldn't solve as if you could never figure out anything to begin with.
All I could do was admit the fault. I had no playful defense I could say in response. No comeback, nothing cocky, nothing funny. She was right when I could of sworn I wasn't wrong.
We left at around midnight. I pushed her and she pushed me, back and forth, back and forth. If nothing else, I had found a pretty good friend with possible benefits. You say "ew" because she's a little chubby, but she's got an okay face with only slightly saggy tits. Sexual attraction is not in the looks with her, but it comes twice as hard through personality.
I have her drop me off at the end of the court in case something happened and she decided to burn my house down. Lol stupid. I know. I go inside and have a little text exchange with her that drops an unexpecting bomb.
"Verdict?"
"Not too bad. I think I'll be seeing more of you."
I know, a little chodey looking back at it.
"Haha maybe."
"Lol or not. Like I said... whatever."
"Haha the world may never know."
"The world? Come on."
":)"
"Well, you DID send me a message that said "you're cute"-"
*screeching sound* Okay, I forgot a part.
While we were drinking whatever and eating whatever, she sends me this RANDOM text message that said "You're cute." Which gave me ammunition for cocky/funny. She kept checking her phone for the time and so I sent her a message that said "Stop it."
"-I guess you're not sick of me just yet."
Enter the bomb.
"You're just a little too hard to be comfortable around."
BOOM.
"Seriously? How?"
"You never seemed relaxed and you were overanalyzing everything."
BOOM BOOM.
It's been going through my head all night and all morning. I can't figure it out. We were having a great time, she kept flirting with me non-stop, she kept talking to me about whatever, and then out of left-field she says "You're just a little too hard to be comfortable around." I keep trying to come up with some excuse for it like maybe she's just 19 and dumb, or fat and secretly insecure, or being playful and it didn't translate on text.
This morning I got a text.
"So I hope you're not mad at me. I was just being honest."
Love and Ciao,
Trevor.
